I woke up from a good night’s sleep, logged into Twitter to read some news, and this exchange above is the first thing I read today. Whatever healing that took place in my brain and body last night as I recovered from teacher and coronavirus news fatigue has, in this one split second, reversed itself. This exchange sent me into a state of frustration, anger, and deep emotional pain for the 5000th time. I used to go into a fit of rage whenever I read a post like this, but I’m glad to report I’ve evolved. I‘m beyond tired of reading anything that has to do with a group of deniers who want to wreak havoc on our country. Every exchange from them causes me to experience anger and deep pain, and it’s not going to stop. Watching their antics is like scrolling through the For You page on Tik Tok; one minute you’re laughing from the ridiculousness of it all to trembling from not knowing if their foolishness might work in their favor one day. I can’t imagine what the stress has done to my body, what it’s done to many of us. After the election, I thought I would be able to breathe; I did, for a short time. But here we are again, watching the attempt at a coup, right before our eyes. At the same time, I appear to be living a seemingly normal existence on Google Meet with middle schoolers who don’t understand this situation's gravity. And this woman is professing her love to the purest of evil men? The same man that would gladly separate many of my young scholars from their own parents? When will this sickness stop?
I never knew it was possible that a country could be as divided as we are. Half believing in a fantasy world of made-up facts. The other half deeply impacted by the growing number of coronavirus deaths and the death of moral and responsible leadership. How are we ever going to recover from this? How will we be able to trust our neighbors, friends, co-workers, and in many cases, family members again? How can we trust our leaders?
To cure a wound, we must let it heal. This wound, however, is wide open and festering. There will be no recovery for some time because it keeps being picked at. They will not let it go. They dig their dirty nails deep into our constitutional rights whenever things don’t go their way. I’m still trying to figure out if these attacks on our democracy are just self-destructive behavior or abuse. Is the intent to injure or to win, or maybe it’s both. For me, it feels like abuse. I’m not sure that the end goal is to win, as it is a performative act for a foreign ally, to show that they are willing to do just about anything to disable the rest of this country. If this is what it feels like in mid-December 2020, I can’t imagine what the week before January 20th, 2021 will look like.
There are days I vacillate between wanting to save the other side from itself, to let’s give them half this country and let them live amongst themselves. Without us, what would they be fighting? If one of their main goals is to strip this country’s protections from brown and black people, then what would be the goal or the fight if they lived on their own Island without us? Would they be a happy tribe of 70 million, or would they soon realize that some of their own would have to be sacrificed for the rich to maintain their power and status due to their own political beliefs? On their own Island, who would become the labor force? The few brown and black people that voted for this insanity would not be enough. They’d have to start going after their own, like the poor Whites.
The Republicans do not fare well unless they are attacking, accusing, and breaking laws. The irony is; they see the other side as the violent instigators in this self-imagined war, when in fact, we are the party that actually saved democracy. The real killer here is misinformation and the lack of critical thinking of so many of this cult’s following. If they only knew how badly they were being bamboozled by their leaders.
All I know is that I want to go back to a time when the majority of Americans were logical, caring, and informed. But now I wonder if that ever existed.